I mean, this is getting a little ridiculous.
Somehow I’ve managed to paralyze not only my writing but also my “career”. Since making the decision to check out from Soul Crushing, Inc in the near future, I have mentally checked out on anything involving me doing actual work. Here’s a list of things I’ve done this week.
1. Tweeted videos, blogs, articles. I also followed a bunch of people so I don’t have to wait for my feed to update.
2. Blogged…once. (This counts as twice I suppose.)
3. Obsessively facebook stalked my kind-of boyfriend. (It’s that TOM. Biology says I have to.)
4. Started reading another Sarah Dessen novel while blow drying my hair. (I feel the need to always be multitasking. If I could hold a book and put on mascara at the same time, I would do it. Someone needs to invent that. Get on it, dreamers!)
5. Twirled my hair at my desk.
6. Googled dating advice websites and read every single goddamn article I can find on what it means to be exclusive but not necessarily in a relationship. (It’s that TOM. Biology says I have to.)
7. Made grocery lists, To Do lists, written down bills I need to pay. (I haven’t actually DONE any of the things I’ve written down, just planned to.)
8. Watched So You Think You Can Dance videos on YouTube and that one recently popular one floating around about an old guy in a nursing home hearing music he grew up with. Almost burst into tears when he started singing “I’ll Be Home For Christmas”. (It’s that TOM. Biology says I have to.)
9. Pretended to do work by frantically flipping between windows whenever my boss walks by. Did I mention we share an office? (This is one reason I can get away with blogging or writing. My typing sounds like I’m making progress on something I’m being paid for. Whoops!) 10. Thought about resurrecting my Tumblr but decided against it.
Things I need to do that I haven’t actually done much of this week?
1. Work.
2. Writing. I squeezed a thousand words out of the stone on Monday night, but since then, the 10 things above have kept me occupied.
There should be a study that looks at work productivity before and after the advent of Facebook. The business world must rue the day Mark Zuckerberg was born.
Thursday, 12 April 2012
Tuesday, 10 April 2012
Chapter 2 - Baby Steps
I come up with grandiose plans and make To Do lists for turning a new leaf about once a month but I feel this one is going to stick. I need to give myself a deadline though for when I give Soul Crushing, Inc the big F U and walk out the door. I'm just not sure when yet.
I'm not sure what I want this blog to be. Daily reflection? Posts when I feel like it? Inner ramblings of a post-grad slacker? I think I'm going to write about what I feel like writing about when I want to. If that makes sense.
So the things on my mind today:
1. The manuscript. I'm at 40,255 words as of yesterday evening. I have broken the 40K mark! Only another 5,000 and I'll be halfway. Maybe. You never know with writing. Sometimes something seizes a hold of you and you can find yourself 10,000 words deep not knowing how you got there but loving the ride the entire way. My earlier manuscript - which I'll revisit eventually - sits right around 124K. When I finished the original draft, I clocked in over 180K! Thankfully, I've shaved it down but I think the story needs to sit and marinate for awhile before I try again with it.
Here's what Momentum is about in a nutshell: Riley was the girl in blue lights the night before at the party. The next morning when JR wakes up with a nasty hangover, she's the dead girl on his TV, and he can't remember if he killed her. He enlists his brother Mark's help, an Iraq war veteran suffering from PTSD. In order to discover the truth about today, JR must remember the truth about yesterday and he's not so sure he has a firm girm on time anymore or reality, for that matter. To complicate things, he meets Camille, a girl who's yellow personality draws him in the way Riley did. He's terrified to get close to her, but cannot deny the attraction between them. JR will have to put all the pieces of the puzzle together to get the answer he seeks before the police come knocking on his door, asking more questions.
I originally set out for it to be a murder mystery, but these things have a way of getting away from you. It's evolved more into a character study about JR and it examines the way he views the world. It delves into the nearly parasitic relationship he has with his older brother and illustrates the fears he has about the world (including but not limited to the fact he may have killed a classmate). I do want to keep the element of suspense though so I'm sure I'll be going back to make changes soon enough. For now, I'm rolling with where the story wants to take me. I tend to know the beginning and the end. The middle? Well, that's the magic of it.
2. Boys. I'm 22. Of course I think about boys. Almost constantly. Recently, I've been thinking about this one in particular...
Suffice it to say I am navigating the murky waters of the "what are we stage" of a relationship. Granted, this can be the best part, but for my control freak brain (and monthly dose of lady hormones), it can also be the most nervewracking. Let me explain. The last time I was in a relationship, he didn't have a phone that supported texting and any relationships before that were in high school. I have a pretty abysmal record and I'm rusty at this. I am learning not to overanalyze every text message or facebook comment or status update. I am going with the flow.
But goddamn if it isn't hard!
I'll keep you posted.
3. Existential crisis mode. Also, as a 22-year-old post-graduate toiling away at Soul Crushing, Inc, I am undergoing the obligatory crisis of Self where I try to Define Myself and Create A Path and Save Money So I'm Not A Broke MuthaFucka. This blog is part of that crisis. I need to do something meaningful! I need to do something creative! I need to be fulfilled! Wah, wah, wah.
Look. I get it. I know I can't wave a magic wand and become a writer. I know it takes hard work and dedication and an ability to block out pain on the days you have to beat your head against the wall to squeeze out even the most amateur turn of phrase. So I'm ready for that. I've had some experience with mild rejection (read: form rejections) and I'm learning to have a thicker skin. I'm learning to simply open up and let people read and see and discuss.
This blog is called the Closet Typewriter 1. because when I was 13, I found a Royal typewriter in my grandmother's closet and 2. because most of my writing has been done secretly, i.e. in the closet.
But now I'm tweeting about it so I suppose I'm making moves? Baby steps and all.
I'm not sure what I want this blog to be. Daily reflection? Posts when I feel like it? Inner ramblings of a post-grad slacker? I think I'm going to write about what I feel like writing about when I want to. If that makes sense.
So the things on my mind today:
1. The manuscript. I'm at 40,255 words as of yesterday evening. I have broken the 40K mark! Only another 5,000 and I'll be halfway. Maybe. You never know with writing. Sometimes something seizes a hold of you and you can find yourself 10,000 words deep not knowing how you got there but loving the ride the entire way. My earlier manuscript - which I'll revisit eventually - sits right around 124K. When I finished the original draft, I clocked in over 180K! Thankfully, I've shaved it down but I think the story needs to sit and marinate for awhile before I try again with it.
Here's what Momentum is about in a nutshell: Riley was the girl in blue lights the night before at the party. The next morning when JR wakes up with a nasty hangover, she's the dead girl on his TV, and he can't remember if he killed her. He enlists his brother Mark's help, an Iraq war veteran suffering from PTSD. In order to discover the truth about today, JR must remember the truth about yesterday and he's not so sure he has a firm girm on time anymore or reality, for that matter. To complicate things, he meets Camille, a girl who's yellow personality draws him in the way Riley did. He's terrified to get close to her, but cannot deny the attraction between them. JR will have to put all the pieces of the puzzle together to get the answer he seeks before the police come knocking on his door, asking more questions.
I originally set out for it to be a murder mystery, but these things have a way of getting away from you. It's evolved more into a character study about JR and it examines the way he views the world. It delves into the nearly parasitic relationship he has with his older brother and illustrates the fears he has about the world (including but not limited to the fact he may have killed a classmate). I do want to keep the element of suspense though so I'm sure I'll be going back to make changes soon enough. For now, I'm rolling with where the story wants to take me. I tend to know the beginning and the end. The middle? Well, that's the magic of it.
2. Boys. I'm 22. Of course I think about boys. Almost constantly. Recently, I've been thinking about this one in particular...
Suffice it to say I am navigating the murky waters of the "what are we stage" of a relationship. Granted, this can be the best part, but for my control freak brain (and monthly dose of lady hormones), it can also be the most nervewracking. Let me explain. The last time I was in a relationship, he didn't have a phone that supported texting and any relationships before that were in high school. I have a pretty abysmal record and I'm rusty at this. I am learning not to overanalyze every text message or facebook comment or status update. I am going with the flow.
But goddamn if it isn't hard!
I'll keep you posted.
3. Existential crisis mode. Also, as a 22-year-old post-graduate toiling away at Soul Crushing, Inc, I am undergoing the obligatory crisis of Self where I try to Define Myself and Create A Path and Save Money So I'm Not A Broke MuthaFucka. This blog is part of that crisis. I need to do something meaningful! I need to do something creative! I need to be fulfilled! Wah, wah, wah.
Look. I get it. I know I can't wave a magic wand and become a writer. I know it takes hard work and dedication and an ability to block out pain on the days you have to beat your head against the wall to squeeze out even the most amateur turn of phrase. So I'm ready for that. I've had some experience with mild rejection (read: form rejections) and I'm learning to have a thicker skin. I'm learning to simply open up and let people read and see and discuss.
This blog is called the Closet Typewriter 1. because when I was 13, I found a Royal typewriter in my grandmother's closet and 2. because most of my writing has been done secretly, i.e. in the closet.
But now I'm tweeting about it so I suppose I'm making moves? Baby steps and all.
Monday, 9 April 2012
Chapter 1 - I May Be An Idiot
I've let this blog go too long without posts and without any promotion. Oh hey, zero followers! Time to start working toward something. For once.
Here's the deal, y'all. I want to be a writer. I want to be able to share the stories I have and perhaps inspire something (laughter, tears, some sort of emotion) in someone else. That's all I really want. I want the space to be creative and an environment that offers me new things every day.
Right now, I work a Joe-Schmoe 9 to 5. I hate it. It is soul crushing. I took the job straight out of college (where I did everything BUT take an English class because apparently my 19-year-old brain thought Biology was more practical) and have been stuck here ever since. I'm coming up on a year of my employment at Soul Crushing, Inc.
Things have to change. See those posts I put up back in October of last year? I'm still working on the manuscript. I wrote some that month but really dug my heels in during NaNoWrimo and cranked out near 40K. The problem was after November, life got in the way. Or better yet, I let life get in the way.
And that's not alright. I'm cheating myself and everything I aspire to be by not giving my time and dedication to a craft I greatly admire.
So I'm quitting. I'm taking my 401K and my business pants and my stupid smothering boss and I'm kicking all of it to the curb. I am 22-goddamn-years-old. I am too young to already be unhappy with my career choice. I'm single(ish), without children, and the only real responsibility I have is to myself and my needy Greyhound. That's it.
I don't know if this will make me more accountable or if blogging will simply keep the creative juices flowing - because God knows looking at spreadsheets isn't - but I'm willing to try.
So this is me owning up to what I want. I went to college for a degree I'm interested in but not necessarily as passionate about as I am about writing. I've been writing for as long as I can remember. I can't imagine a life without it and I'm kicking myself now that I didn't have the foresight or strength of self to own up to it in college and take the classes I should have been taking. I want to write and I'm going to. I don't care if that means quitting my job at Soul Crushing, Inc and doing something part-time for a while. I'll wait tables. I'll make do. I was broke for four years in college and I had a great time. I'll figure it out.
This is not me giving up on the professional world or taking the easy way out because I can't handle a 40 hr work week. Actually, I think this is the hard way. I'm setting myself up for a world of rejection, but I'm willing to do it because I truly believe I have a shot at this. And I have something to say. I have a story just itching to get out.
Working Title: Momentum
Word Count: ~40,000 words
Goal: 90,000 by June 1st
Let's do this!
Here's the deal, y'all. I want to be a writer. I want to be able to share the stories I have and perhaps inspire something (laughter, tears, some sort of emotion) in someone else. That's all I really want. I want the space to be creative and an environment that offers me new things every day.
Right now, I work a Joe-Schmoe 9 to 5. I hate it. It is soul crushing. I took the job straight out of college (where I did everything BUT take an English class because apparently my 19-year-old brain thought Biology was more practical) and have been stuck here ever since. I'm coming up on a year of my employment at Soul Crushing, Inc.
Things have to change. See those posts I put up back in October of last year? I'm still working on the manuscript. I wrote some that month but really dug my heels in during NaNoWrimo and cranked out near 40K. The problem was after November, life got in the way. Or better yet, I let life get in the way.
And that's not alright. I'm cheating myself and everything I aspire to be by not giving my time and dedication to a craft I greatly admire.
So I'm quitting. I'm taking my 401K and my business pants and my stupid smothering boss and I'm kicking all of it to the curb. I am 22-goddamn-years-old. I am too young to already be unhappy with my career choice. I'm single(ish), without children, and the only real responsibility I have is to myself and my needy Greyhound. That's it.
I don't know if this will make me more accountable or if blogging will simply keep the creative juices flowing - because God knows looking at spreadsheets isn't - but I'm willing to try.
So this is me owning up to what I want. I went to college for a degree I'm interested in but not necessarily as passionate about as I am about writing. I've been writing for as long as I can remember. I can't imagine a life without it and I'm kicking myself now that I didn't have the foresight or strength of self to own up to it in college and take the classes I should have been taking. I want to write and I'm going to. I don't care if that means quitting my job at Soul Crushing, Inc and doing something part-time for a while. I'll wait tables. I'll make do. I was broke for four years in college and I had a great time. I'll figure it out.
This is not me giving up on the professional world or taking the easy way out because I can't handle a 40 hr work week. Actually, I think this is the hard way. I'm setting myself up for a world of rejection, but I'm willing to do it because I truly believe I have a shot at this. And I have something to say. I have a story just itching to get out.
Working Title: Momentum
Word Count: ~40,000 words
Goal: 90,000 by June 1st
Let's do this!
Team Amity!
Just joined Team Amity as part of the Insurgent marketing blitz! I can't wait for this book to come out!!!
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